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The term “narcissist” technically refers to an individual with narcissistic personality disorder. However, the term may also refer to someone with narcissistic traits who has not been officially diagnosed with any mental health conditions. No divorce is easy, but narcissists often make the process of divorce much harder than it has to be. If you suspect that your spouse is a narcissist, your divorce may be frustrating and complicated. However, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Many narcissists have an exaggerated sense of self-importance. They usually need a great deal of attention and admiration from others. Individuals with narcissistic tendencies may also lack empathy or sympathy towards others. Many people married to narcissists are initially charmed by their partner’s words and behavior. Your spouse may have been kind and loving when you were dating but then changed once you got married. Narcissists are often intelligent and manipulative. They may use gaslighting, intimidation, and psychological tricks to get what they want.
Deciding to get divorced is often just the start of a long, complicated process. Many people embarking on a divorce feel overwhelmed and confused. There are so many factors to consider and countless questions to answer. Fortunately, you do not have to face divorce alone. A skilled divorce lawyer can explain all of your options and help you take the next steps.
An uncontested divorce occurs when spouses agree on all the terms of the divorce, including property division, child custody, and spousal support. A contested divorce occurs when spouses cannot reach an agreement on one or more issues. For example, the couple may agree on how to share parenting time and parental responsibilities but not how to divide marital property.
Some couples are able to reach an agreement on all of the divorce issues without litigation. Alternative resolution methods like mediation may help the couple resolve their disagreements and come to a compromise. The spouses’ lawyers may also be able to negotiate on the spouses’ behalf and help them reach an agreement. Unfortunately, a contested divorce is sometimes unavoidable.
Supervised visitation is a step short of cutting off a person’s parental rights entirely. It is used when having some contact with the noncustodial parent is still in the child’s best interest, but leaving the child alone with that parent would put the child in some type of danger. In supervised visitation, the noncustodial parent still gets some parenting time, however, they will be supervised by a trusted third party at all times when their child is present. This solution is not used very frequently, but it is an option in some cases. If you believe that your child’s other parent cannot safely be left alone with your child, your lawyer may recommend asking the court to allow only supervised visitation.
Under Illinois law, supervised visitation can be ordered when unsupervised “visitation would seriously endanger the child’s physical, mental, moral, or emotional health.” The parent asking for supervised visitation must prove that the other parent would endanger the child in some way. It may be used if one parent is engaged in criminal activity, is abusive towards the child or other parent in any way, or has a serious mental illness or substance abuse problem. It can also be ordered if the other parent is in a romantic relationship with an individual who poses a risk of harm to the child.
In order to make sure that marital assets are divided fairly, it is important to know what each major asset is worth. Without knowing exactly what each asset is worth, there is a risk that the court will inadvertently leave one party in a much better position than the other. The process of valuing marital assets can be tricky. Some assets, like stock portfolios and investments, tend to fluctuate in value, sometimes rapidly. Other assets can be hard to arrive at an agreed-upon value to. In many cases, professional appraisals are necessary. If you are going through a divorce where valuation may be necessary, it is important that you work with an attorney who has experience with the appraisal and valuation process.
Which specific assets need to be appraised or otherwise valued really depends on what types of property you own. Spouses who were only married for a short time and have not acquired much in the way of joint property–especially if they are renting and do not own a home–may be able to bypass this process. However, those who have been married for a long time and have a good amount of assets together are much more likely to need to bring in a third-party professional.
No one should be afraid to leave their marriage because they do not know how they will support themselves without their spouse. This fear of financial instability has kept quite a few people trapped in marriages that are no longer working. Spouses who have given up a career or educational opportunities in order to stay home and devote themselves to raising children or maintaining a household may have a difficult time getting back into the workforce. Alimony–now called spousal maintenance–was created to mitigate this problem. Spousal maintenance is not available for every married person who gets divorced, so it is important to consult a lawyer to find out whether you may qualify before making any moves.
When you are planning to leave your marriage, it is important to have a plan in place to protect your financial stability. This is of particular importance for those who did not work for pay during the marriage. Some critical information about spousal maintenance in Illinois you may need to be aware of includes:
In the vast majority of cases, judges in Illinois will award both a child’s parents some parenting time. One parent may make their home the child’s primary residence, but the other is very likely to enjoy part-time custody. The reasoning is that it is usually in a child’s best interest to receive love, guidance, and emotional support from two parents instead of one. However, there are cases where spending time with one particular parent would actually be harmful to the child. In these rare cases, Illinois courts will award parenting time and decision-making rights (parental responsibility) to one parent alone.
If you believe that your child would be mentally or physically unsafe with their other parent, it is important to work closely with an experienced attorney. It can be difficult to convince a court that sole custody is appropriate.
It is not uncommon for one parent to demand sole custody primarily to spite the other parent during a contentious divorce or split. This strategy is rarely effective - the court will want proof that spending time with the other parent would not be in the child’s interest. Courts will consider awarding sole custody only in situations like:
Child custody proceedings can be nerve-wracking for parents. You may be worried about who will be given primary custody and how much time you will be able to spend with your children. In most cases - although certainly not all - both parents will be awarded some parenting time. A child’s upbringing is critically important. Courts do not take these decisions lightly. There are a number of factors that must be considered before judges will decide on the child’s living arrangements. If you are anticipating child custody proceedings, you will want to be represented by a qualified family law attorney.
There is a list of factors that a judge will take into consideration before deciding who children will live with and what type of visitation schedule is appropriate. None of these factors alone is the deciding factor. Rather, the factors are considered together as a whole. These factors include:
There are quite a few alternatives to divorce litigation available these days. You and your soon-to-be ex-spouse can choose options like collaborative divorce or mediation. Divorce litigation is typically a last resort option when either alternative solutions have failed or your spouse absolutely will not cooperate. Reaching an agreement rather than taking your divorce case to court offers quite a few benefits. Unfortunately, there are some cases where you have no choice but to litigate. If you are going through a divorce, an attorney can help you understand what your options are and choose the one that is right for you in your situation.
Most modern divorces are resolved without litigation. In the majority of divorce cases, your attorney is likely to steer you towards mediation, or attempt to negotiate with your spouse. Avoiding litigation offers advantages like:
Once you have separated from or divorced your children’s other parent, you would probably like to be free to live your own life. This may include relocating. However, if you have parenting time (physical custody) of your children even part-time, moving may not be as simple as you would like. A number of circumstances may mean that relocating is the right move for your family. Perhaps you were offered a better-paying job elsewhere, or you need to be geographically closer to extended relatives, such as your children’s grandparents. Maybe the area you used to live in with your co-parent simply holds too many bad memories. There are plenty of valid reasons for wanting to move with your children.
Before you start packing, you may want to speak with a child custody lawyer who can help make sure the court will be alright with your move. There may be legally required steps you need to take first.
Having a spouse who is “bad with money” can be tricky. It can even lead to divorce. Dissipation of marital assets is more than being bad with money. It refers to one spouse–unilaterally, without the other’s agreement0–spending a large amount of marital funds recklessly on things that do not benefit the marriage. This type of money-wasting behavior often leads to debt, problems with credit scores, or difficulty paying routine expenses. It can also prompt the more financially responsible spouse to file for divorce out of frustration and a need to protect themselves. Dissipation can become a major factor during the division of assets.
If you believe that your spouse’s reckless spending amounts to dissipation, it is important to work with a divorce attorney who may be able to help you recover some of the funds your spouse dissipated during the divorce.
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