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When you are a homemaker, your entire life revolves around your family. Rather than continuing on a career path, you have devoted yourself to the work it takes to run a household. If you have children, you are likely their primary caregiver on top of being the family cook, housekeeper, shopper, and much more. However, this vitally important work goes unpaid, which can make the prospect of getting divorced frightening for many stay-home parents and homemakers.
If you are getting divorced, you may have concerns over how you will continue to meet your financial needs and your children’s needs at the same time. Financial concerns like alimony payments or child support are likely to be high priorities so that you can maintain financial security while adjusting to single life. Our attorneys will work with you to learn your specific needs so that we can best serve you and guard your interests throughout the divorce process.
Your divorce decree is generally considered a very final document. When the court issues the decree, your marriage officially terminates, and the decree reflects either the agreements you made or the decisions the court made. At the time, the terms in your decree may have been practical and reasonable. However, things can change over time. Your or your ex’s financial situation may have changed drastically. The needs of your children can change and evolve over time. Divorced parents may become different people over time. A number of circumstances in your lives can change and render your divorce decree impracticable and unreasonable. In some cases, you may be able to petition the court to modify your divorce decree to reflect the present reality. To do this, you will need a knowledgeable family law attorney.
Divorce decree modifications are possible, but not always easy. Generally, they are used when a drastic change in your personal situation has occurred. You may be able to seek a modification if one of the following circumstances is present in your case:
No one should have to experience domestic violence. There is never any excuse for your spouse to hit you, push you, or inflict any other type of violence on you. If you have experienced abuse at the hands of your spouse, you may be able to obtain a protection order. A protection order, or restraining order, is an official court order that requires your spouse to stay away from you and refrain from contacting, harassing, abusing, or intimidating you or your children. The process for getting one of these orders is typically completed in just two manageable steps. While you could seek one of these orders alone, it is highly advisable to be represented by an attorney. Your case could go to trial, where you would want to be represented by a lawyer who understands the rules of Illinois courts.
When you arrive at the courthouse to file for a protection order, you will need to start by filling out some paperwork explaining why you need a protection order. You will be asked to provide a brief written statement alleging the acts of domestic violence that led you to seek out this order.
If you were in a toxic marriage, you probably know that divorce is perhaps the only way to take your life back fully. Whether your spouse was manipulative, narcissistic, or outright abusive, you are done with it and ready to move on without them. Fortunately, your spouse absolutely does not have the power to prevent you from divorcing them. No matter what they try, you can ultimately get your divorce finalized whether they like it or not. There are, however, a few tactics they might try. Some of these tactics are meant to delay the inevitable. Others are merely an attempt to make you look bad through dishonesty.
Your toxic spouse may, of course, try other dirty tactics that are meant to rob you of your fair share of any marital property. If this is the type of behavior you expect from your spouse, then it is extremely important for you to have strong and aggressive legal representation.
Child support is often, but not always, decided during a divorce. When children are born into a marriage, both spouses are presumed to be the child’s parents. In Illinois, this is true even if it is biologically impossible - a child born to a woman who is married to another woman has two legal mothers right off the bat. If this couple were to divorce, one mother would likely be ordered to pay the other child support. However, couples who are not married and their children enjoy no such legal protections. If you were never married to your child’s other parent and you need to start receiving financial support for your child, the first step is to ensure that your child’s other biological parent is also their legal parent. Most commonly, this means that a mother will need to prove who her child’s father is - very rarely is there any confusion about who a child’s biological mother is. From there, you can petition the court for child support.
If this is your first time being involved in a child custody case, a lot of things might feel very unfamiliar. You are probably not used to needing a court order to tell you which parent should have the child with them and when. You may be paying or receiving child support for the first time. The entire process of deciding issues related to child custody and child support can be complex. Some of the terminology used can also feel unfamiliar and confusing when you are not used to it. Illinois changed the way courts and lawyers talk about child custody to reframe important issues. This quick guide should help you understand what is being discussed at all times. An attorney can also help you keep track of everything going on in your custody case.
You may not even see the term “child custody” used. You will not find the term in the Dissolution of Marriage Act at all. Instead, we use the terms “parenting time” and “parental responsibility.” Some key terms you should know include:
Getting a divorce is rarely easy. Even if you are relatively amicable with your spouse, the potential for interpersonal conflict is very high during divorce. It can be a very emotionally charged situation. Especially if you are trying for an uncontested divorce and will need to reach an agreement, it is best to minimize the amount of conflict in your divorce. Fighting with the spouse you are already leaving is only going to cause additional stress. There are a number of strategies you can use for avoiding the drama, even if your spouse seems determined to keep arguing. If you have children together, conflict can take its toll on them as well. An attorney can give you more specific advice once they understand your situation.
While you are in the process of a divorce, the only arguing should be done by attorneys. Some helpful tips for minimizing potentially damaging conflict with your spouse include:
Most children involved in child custody proceedings have at least one parent who is capable of and interested in caring for them. Custody battles are traditionally between two biological parents, but this is not always the case. In certain situations, an adult sibling may be able to petition the court for custody of a minor sibling. This is more likely to be the case when there is a significant age gap between siblings. Especially when younger siblings are at risk of being taken into state custody and placed into foster care, having an older sibling take care of them instead may be the better option. However, young adults who are considering trying to get cutody of their siblings should know that this is a major commitment. If you succeed, you will effectively become a parent to your younger siblings, so make sure you are absolutely ready.
As in any other child custody proceeding, the deciding factor will always be the best interest of the child involved. The court will only be willing to make you a guardian to your younger siblings if it thinks that doing so is the best option for the minors. Some things the court might consider include:
Being married to someone who is dependent on drugs or alcohol can be very difficult. People in active addiction put their substance of choice above everything else, including their spouse and children. Your spouse may have lost their job as a result of substance abuse. They may have been arrested. They could have become involved with criminals you would rather not be associated with. Whatever the situation may be, you need out of your marriage, and you need to get your children out. Getting a divorce from a spouse with substance abuse problems can be very difficult on a number of levels. You will need an attorney to help you take steps to protect yourself and your children during this difficult time.
As you have likely come to know, people who are in active addiction can be irresponsible. Your goal will need to be mitigating the damage their addiction has done to your life and your children’s lives. Some steps you may be able to take include:
Illinois courts use supervised visitation orders for a number of reasons. Often, this arrangement is temporary while parents have a divorce pending, or while a guardian ad litem is investigating an accusation made by one spouse. Even so, supervised visitation can potentially be uncomfortable for both you and your children. There are different levels and types of supervised visitation. Some parents are allowed to spend time with their children in the community, but with a designated chaperone present. Others must come to a visitation center to see their children. While it may take a little getting used to, this arrangement allows parents to maintain a strong relationship with their children despite an imperfect history or in some cases, a false accusation.
Many parents prefer this style of supervised visitation, as it can feel much more natural and offers a wider range of activities. If you have this type of supervised visitation, you may or may not be permitted to have your children in your home, so make sure you check with your lawyer first.
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