Can I Sue My Spouse’s Affair Partner During My Divorce?

 Posted on December 08, 2025 in Divorce

Infidelity can devastate a marriage, and unfortunately, it is a common reason for divorce. The emotional impact alone of discovering an affair can be life-changing. However, it can also raise difficult legal questions.

Can you hold your spouse’s affair partner accountable? Do affairs come up in divorce proceedings? What do you do if your spouse spent shared money on that affair? Illinois law draws a clear line between moral wrongdoing and financial misconduct. Understanding that distinction can help you protect yourself during a divorce, and our DuPage County, IL divorce lawyer can help.

Can I Sue My Husband’s Mistress or My Wife’s Boyfriend?

After discovering infidelity, wanting to hold the people who wronged you accountable is understandable. In some states, this is possible. Laws known as "alienation of affection" or "criminal conversation" once allowed a betrayed spouse to sue the third party for breaking up a marriage.

However, Illinois does not permit these types of claims. The state abolished all civil actions for alienation of affection, criminal conversation, and breach of promise to marry. Lawmakers decided that these laws were easily abused and intruded on private relationships.

Ultimately, this means that you cannot sue your spouse’s affair partner for emotional pain, humiliation, or damage to your marriage. While the affair may be morally wrong, it does not create a separate cause of action under Illinois law. That does not mean that you cannot hold your spouse accountable during the divorce process.

Does Cheating Affect Divorce Settlements or Custody?

Illinois uses a no-fault divorce system under 750 ILCS 5/401. It states that the only ground you can cite for divorce is "irreconcilable differences." Courts do not assign legal blame for the breakdown of the marriage.

Because of this, adultery has no direct impact on property division, spousal maintenance, or custody. Judges are focused on fairness, not fault. Decisions about dividing assets, awarding maintenance, and creating parenting schedules are based on financial facts and the best interests of the child, not on moral issues.

However, cheating can still have an indirect effect if your spouse misuses marital money. In that case, you may have a dissipation of assets claim.

What Is Dissipation of Assets and How Can It Help You?

Under 750 ILCS 5/503(d)(2), "dissipation" occurs when one spouse uses marital funds or property for a purpose unrelated to the marriage, especially while the relationship is breaking down. If your spouse spent money on an affair, you may be able to recover that money through the divorce process. The court may decide that there was dissipation if your spouse:

• Used joint marital accounts to pay for trips, hotels, or gifts for an affair partner

• Loaned or transferred marital funds to that person

• Paid rent or utilities for a secret apartment

• Spent marital money in a way that offered no benefit to your family

If the court agrees that your spouse wasted marital money, the judge can make them pay it back. That way, you get a fair share of what you helped build during the marriage.

How Do You Prove Dissipation During Divorce?

To make a valid dissipation claim, you must show that the spending occurred during a time when the marriage was already breaking down and that it did not benefit the household. You will likely need substantial documentation to do that. Your attorney might tell you to gather:

• Credit card or bank statements showing unusual purchases

• Receipts for travel or luxury items

• Electronic records or messages linking the spending to the affair

• Testimony or admissions from your spouse acknowledging the spending

• Account transfers or cash withdrawals that cannot be explained by normal household expenses

Once you make a dissipation claim, your spouse has to try to show that the money was spent for a valid reason that benefited the marriage. If they cannot give a clear and convincing explanation, the judge can adjust the property division so you are not left covering the loss alone.

You want to act quickly with these claims. Illinois law gives you a limited window. You cannot wait any longer than 60 days before trial or within 30 days after discovery closes to file your claim. Missing that deadline could mean giving up your right to recover what was taken, so do not wait to bring the issue to your attorney’s attention.

Can an Affair Impact Spousal Support or Child Custody Decisions?

Adultery itself rarely affects whether a spouse receives or pays maintenance. The courts consider income, earning capacity, and the length of the marriage, not personal behavior, when deciding these cases. However, if a spouse’s affair led to significant financial waste, that loss could influence how much maintenance is ultimately awarded.

Custody issues are handled separately. Judges base parenting decisions on the child’s best interests. A parent’s affair usually does not affect custody unless it harms the child’s well-being. For example, introducing a child to an affair partner too soon, neglecting parental duties, or creating an unstable home environment could become relevant in court.

Can You Recover Money or Property from the Affair Partner?

Although Illinois prohibits suing the affair partner directly, there are limited cases where that person might still be affected by court orders. If your spouse transferred marital property to the affair partner in bad faith, the court can treat that as a fraudulent transfer and order the property returned. This process focuses on recovering assets rather than punishing anyone for emotional harm.

What Should You Do if You Suspect Dissipation?

If you suspect your spouse spent your marital funds on an affair, start collecting bank statements, receipts, and any written communications that suggest financial misconduct. Avoid confronting the affair partner directly, as that can escalate conflict or lead to further complications.

Instead, share what you know with your attorney. They can request records through discovery, issue subpoenas, or hire a forensic accountant to track hidden spending. Acting early preserves evidence and strengthens your ability to present a clear, fact-based case to the court.

Contact a Wheaton, IL Divorce Attorney Today for a Free Consultation

The compassionate attorneys at Davi Law Group understand the sensitive nature of divorces involving infidelity. Our team is experienced in handling dissipation claims, property disputes, and custody matters with professionalism and care. We will work tirelessly to protect your financial future so that you can rebuild your life post-divorce more confidently.

Call 630-657-5052 today to schedule a free consultation with a trusted DuPage County, IL divorce lawyer.