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Divorce has seen a lot of changes since its peak in the United States. Whereas courts used to almost always award custody to the mother, with fathers being afforded very few rights, the system now recognizes that children need and deserve the love and support of both parents. Developmental and behavioral studies on children have been integral to these changes, but parents themselves have helped to pave the way as well.
While some divorce cases involving children remain acrimonious, the majority of parents recognize that their child is extremely vulnerable to behavioral and emotional trauma during parental separation. Moreover, parents are becoming more knowledgable about the negative effects that a bitter divorce can have on the future and overall development of their child. As a result, many are intentional about the way they conduct themselves during the divorce process.
From an attorney’s perspective, divorce is primarily a financial transaction. Yet, for the parties separating, divorce is far more than just a division of assets; it is an emotional endeavor. Grief, an emergence of buried emotions, and even feelings of doubt and regret can surface.
Some fall into depression at this time. Others experience intense anger. Parties leaving an abusive situation can also suffer from PTSD. In short, it is important to protect one’s mental health during a divorce. The following tips offer a few ideas on how to go about doing this.
As previously mentioned, grief is exceptionally common during divorce. Rather than deny or bury it, allow grief to take its natural course. By avoiding it, you can end up doing yourself for harm than good.
Rising stress levels, suppressed anger or resentment, and other negative emotions are all common symptoms experienced by those who are attempting to avoid their grief. In contrast, those that allow themselves the time to process and grieve their loss tend to adapt much better after their divorce. This is likely because they feel more grounded and at peace with their decision.
Couples nearing retirement often assume that they will stay together for the rest of their natural lives. Yet, with people living longer and healthier lives, many stop and evaluate their current situation as they move into their golden years. What some find is that they and their spouse have changed so much over the years that staying married no longer makes sense.
How do you navigate such a massive financial and lifestyle change like a divorce without compromising your future? The following tips on navigating divorce during your retirement can help.
Divorce may be an emotional process, but it is the financial implications that tend to have the longest-lasting effect on one’s life. This statement is especially true for those heading into their retirement years. The following are just a few ways that divorce can affect your finances:
When a child is born to unwed parents, the mother typically receives automatic rights at birth. The same cannot be said for unwed fathers. Instead, they must establish paternity in order to gain legal rights to the child. Learn more about this process in the following sections, including what it entails and what parental benefits you may receive.
Even when unwed parents reside together and plan to marry, fathers must acknowledge their paternal bond with the child to gain legal rights. While this added step may seem unfair and a hassle, the goal is to ensure that the obligation for financial support is assigned to the right person.
Biological fathers who pursue this legal action can provide their child with certain financial benefits that can improve the child’s overall quality of life, including the right to receive:
Adoption can be a rewarding and fulfilling experience for all involved, but it is not a decision that should be taken lightly. By going through this legal process, you are taking on all of the financial, medical, emotional, and developmental needs of the child. The following are five things you need to know and consider before embarking on your adoption journey.
Families considering adoption often allow themselves to become overwhelmed with all the tasks and changes involved. They may also become nervous about their shortcomings during the interview or home study process. Rest assured that you do not need to be perfect to complete an adoption. You are not required to have a “traditional” household. All you really need is to prove that you can provide a stable, loving environment for a child and that you will do everything possible to ensure the child’s needs are met.
As more families work toward amicable splits, the rate of full joint custody has increased. In addition, there are studies that highlight the potential benefits of a near equal time split between parents. Unfortunately, communication between divorcing parties can be stressful, even when both are focused on the well-being and best interests of their children. Gain some helpful tips for minimizing issues (and unnecessary stress) in your joint custody plan in the following sections.
Managing a kid’s schedule is difficult enough when working out of one home. Split the bills and responsibilities and things can get downright confusing. Effective communication is the key to reducing stressors while managing schedules during a divorce. You can also incorporate online applications, such as shared family calendars.
Divorce can impact every facet of your life—including your business and financial stability. Thankfully, there are a few key strategies that you can employ to minimize the risks to your business operations while also reducing the chances of it affecting your employees. Learn more about them in the following sections.
It is not uncommon for married couples to co-own their family business. Even when one party is not directly involved in the day-to-day operations, they may hold shares in the company. In either case, both parties need to mindfully separate business from their personal life.
Conduct yourself professionally whenever you are at the company or conducting business, and stay away from marital matters whenever talking about business operations. Remember: the well-being of your employees and the future stability of your company could be on the line.
As a stepparent, you have a unique opportunity to make a difference in the life of a child you love. You are yet another source of support, love, and guidance. Still, the role of a stepparent can be difficult to navigate because you do not have the same authority as a biological parent. Thankfully, there are ways to bond and connect with your stepchild, without undermining either of the child’s biological parents. Learn more in the following sections.
Entering a family with two active and involved biological parents can be difficult—for both you and the child. As such, it is best if you approach the process slowly, with patience and mindfulness. Avoid high expectations, expensive gifts, and drawn-out family meals or activities. Focus instead on making each interaction short but positive.
Divorce and separation can have a massive impact on the development of a child. Many experience a grieving period. Be mindful of this, and allow them the room to process the changes within their family before expecting much of a bond with them.
Back-to-school can be a fun and exciting time for families, but for couples in the midst of a divorce, communication is critical to avoiding arguments. Learn how you and your spouse can foster a positive co-parenting experience during this hectic period with help from the following.
When it comes to educational goals, parents need to be on the same page—or at least as close as possible. Common areas of contention involve debates over private versus public school, the district in which the child should attend school, and whether extracurricular activities will be covered by child support, or if each parent will contribute to the cost of their own volition.
Remember, at the end of the day, what you and your spouse really want is to provide the best possible education for your child, at a cost that each of you can reasonably afford. Also, keep in mind that you may spend a great deal of time, negotiating an arrangement that works for all involved parties.
Divorce can make a massive impact on your life, especially when it comes to financial matters. Thankfully, there are ways to mitigate the risks. Learn more about managing your finances while pursuing an Illinois divorce in the following sections.
Divorcing parties are often aware that a new budget is necessary. One budget may not be adequate, however. You may need both a pre- and post-divorce budget. The first (your pre-divorce budget) addresses how you and your spouse will handle any joint accounts in the months leading up to the divorce, along with your own personal financial responsibilities. The latter (the post-divorce budget) focuses on how you will manage your financial obligations once the divorce has been finalized.
While it may be tempting to wait to pay down your debt until after receiving your divorce settlement, such a plan can create unnecessary financial risks for you once the divorce has been finalized. Interest rates may increase the amount owed. Accounts may be sent to collection agencies, which can hurt your credit. Lastly, your settlement amount may not be enough to cover any overdue balances. Alternatively, by using the settlement to cover the debt, rather than forge a new future, you could increase your risk of long-term financial issues. To avoid such an issue, consider paying down your debt before filing for divorce.
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