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Money can be one of the leading sources of contention when a couple goes through a divorce, but statistics also indicate that it is also one of the biggest stressors in a marriage. In fact, there are five bad money habits that can almost predict whether a couple will call it quits. Learn what they are, and discover how a seasoned divorce lawyer can help protect your assets if you are planning to pursue an Illinois divorce.
Hiding Money in Your Marriage
Everyone enjoys having a little spending money of their own, but if you are not telling your spouse a bank account, savings account, or cash, you could be in some serious trouble. Not only does this hiding of money create resentment and break trust within your marriage, it may also be perceived as intentional financial abuse or asset hiding in your divorce. As a result, you could stand to lose far more than you were trying to hide.
Hiding Debt from Your Spouse
Couples do not usually enter a marriage with the intention of someday divorcing, but statistics indicate that just a little under half of them do. It is that high rate of divorce (and the potential losses that may ensue because of one) that is causing many millennials to take preventative steps. One of the most crucial is the drafting of a prenuptial agreement. Unfortunately, these documents cannot cover every aspect of your marriage, and there is always the risk that one (or all) of the terms will not hold up in court. Learn how to “bulletproof” your prenuptial agreement, and discover how a seasoned family law attorney can assist you with the process.
Starting Your Marriage with Transparency
Honesty and transparency are the cornerstones of a healthy marriage, and a prenuptial agreement can help you incorporate these qualities into your marriage, early on. Of course, you can attempt to hide or inflate your wealth in a prenup, but it is never wise - and not just because it is dishonest or deceptive. By not disclosing any wealth you have, or by intentionally inflating it, you can completely void your prenuptial agreement. As a result, your document may not be honored in court, and you may lose even more of your assets through penalties from the court. Avoid this prenuptial agreement mistake by ensuring you are honest about all the assets you have and expect to earn in the future, and always be transparent with your spouse about losses and gains that occur over the course of your marriage. Also, ensure you avoid any inadvertent mistakes by talking to a lawyer about your assets prior to the creation of your prenup.
While a Guardian Ad Litem may not be necessary in every divorce case, they are sometimes needed to ensure that the best interests of children are preserved during proceedings. Should you request one, and how do you deal with it if your spouse or the courts have brought on into your Illinois divorce case? The following information explains, and it provides information on how a seasoned divorce lawyer can assist with the process.
What is a Guardian Ad Litem?
Guardian Ad Litems are court-appointed unbiased third parties that look out for children in legal proceedings, such as divorce. They do not take sides. Instead, they interview all involved parties along with other individuals in the child’s life (i.e. teachers, grandparents, etc.). They then make a recommendation to the court, based on the evidence they have found. Mostly, they are looking for signs of abuse or neglect that could potentially endanger the child, and they make recommendations to protect the child from such issues.
Divorce can spark feelings of grief, even in people who are fully prepared to end their marriage. Sadly, it is often those who initiate divorce who are not prepared for the emotional pain that often accompanies the process, and that can place them at a significant disadvantage during the legal proceedings of their case. Avoid this issue by learning how you can cope with grief during your Illinois divorce, and discover how a seasoned divorce attorney can help to ease the process.
Understanding Why Grief Occurs
Even when you are the initiator in a divorce, grief may occur. Sometimes it is because parties feel like the end of their marriage as a failure. Other times, it is because there are children involved, and seeing them in pain can be emotionally painful. Still, there are situations in which no obvious reason can be found. Instead, the parties may simply feel this overwhelming sense of guilt, sadness, or remorse over the way things ended. Perhaps it is because the party did not want their marriage to end, but they had to come to terms with the fact that it was no longer healthy or productive, or maybe they grew out of the relationship but still care deeply for their spouse. Whatever the case, the grief must be dealt with in a healthy way. Otherwise, the party may end up saying and doing things that are out of character or that could sabotage their proceedings.
Parties who go through a divorce often attend therapy or join a support group to help them cope with the process, but children rarely go through the same type of counseling because they are seen as “resilient.” Alternatively, parents may assume that their child is not suffering any ill effects from the divorce because they are not displaying any symptoms at that time. Sadly, this may not be the case. Learn more about how divorce counseling can help reduce the chances of maladjustment in children experiencing divorce, and discover how a seasoned divorce lawyer can further minimize their risks.
Kids and Divorce - Understanding the Risks
Although it is true that many children do eventually recover from the emotional trauma of divorce, and only a small percentage suffer serious ill effects, there are some pretty significant risks that parents should know about. Perhaps the most notable is the risk of juvenile delinquency among children of divorce, which can impact children of almost any age and even years after the divorce has ended. Many children also suffer academically, and they may withdraw from their social circles or stop participating in extracurricular activities. Studies also suggest that children may be at an increased risk of relationship issues later in life, and their immune system may take a serious hit because of the stress, which can make them more prone to illness as an adult.
When your dream of a happy marriage becomes a nightmare, it can be difficult to discern whether leaving is a good idea - especially since so many of the horror stories of abuse involve a woman trying to leave her abusive husband. Thankfully, there are protections available to abused women. Learn more about them in the following sections and discover some tips on keeping yourself safe while trying to leave an abusive marriage, including how a seasoned divorce lawyer can assist with the legal aspects of your case.
Take Time to Adequately Prepare for the Separation
Although there are circumstances in which you have to leave to ensure your safety, it is usually better if you take the time to adequately prepare for the separation, long before your spouse catches wind of your desire to leave. Start by saving your own money in a separate bank account. It is also recommended that you keep a copy of your driver’s license, social security, birth certificate, and banking information with a trusted party, such as a close friend or family member. If at all possible, try to also store clothing and personal items with this person, as it will ensure you have what you need if the relationship suddenly becomes more violent.
Divorce can be a costly endeavor, especially for the wealthy. Thankfully, there are ways to protect your assets during the process. Learn more in the following sections, including how a seasoned divorce lawyer can improve your chances of a favorable outcome in your Illinois divorce.
Financially Prepare by Tracking Your Income and Expenses
Although you may eventually recover from the financial hit of a divorce, odds are, you will need to scale back your lifestyle for a while. Ensure that you are adequately prepared for this by tracking your income and expenses before you file. See where you can make budget cuts, and be mindful of any money that may be owed to your spouse (i.e. child support and alimony). An experienced divorce lawyer can help in gauging what you may be obligated to pay. Also, be aware that the tax laws will be changing in 2019, so the credits that were once given to alimony payers will no longer exist.
Divorce can dredge up a lot of anger and resentment toward your spouse - especially if you are not the one who filed. Yet, as a parent, it is critical that you remember your child is the innocent party, and they need love and support from both their parents to help them cope. Increase your chances of meeting their needs by avoiding the saying the following things to your child during and after the divorce process, and discover how a seasoned divorce lawyer can further decrease the chances that your child will suffer from maladjustment issues down the road.
Your Mother/Father is a “Deadbeat” (and Other Negative Names)
Children are half of each parent, so when one parent attacks the other, the child may start to think that there is something wrong with them as well. So, regardless of what your ex is doing (or has done in the past) do your best to try and keep your opinions about them to yourself. If you need to talk about your spouse’s behavior or the details of the divorce, turn to family or friends who are on your side or make an appointment with a therapist or with a support group. Just make sure that your child is not within earshot when discussing such issues.
Divorce can be a stressful and taxing process - so much so that it may impact your health, mental well-being, and relationships with friends and family. Thankfully, it is possible to reduce your stress levels during divorce. Learn more in the following sections, including how the assistance of a seasoned Illinois divorce attorney can improve the overall outcome of your case.
Gearing Up for the Divorce
Odds are, you know about the divorce before the proceedings begin. Use this time wisely and you could improve your ability to cope once the real action starts. For example, you could seek out therapy and a support group so that you are emotionally prepared to navigate negotiations with your spouse. Making a budget and appropriately planning for your financial future can also help to ease money-related stress while you are preparing for the divorce process.
Self-Care During and After Divorce
Studies have consistently shown that women are often the ones to initiate divorce, but what are their reasons? A recent survey, conducted by the Australian Institute of Family Studies, asked 43,000 divorced and single parent women about the reasons they ended their marriage. The following covers their top three answers, and it provides you with some strategies that you can use if you suspect that your spouse may be about to file for an Illinois divorce.
Top Three Reasons Women Seek Divorce
The path to divorce is highly personal, and every situation is unique. Yet, as the survey revealed, there are some commonalities that women share in divorce, at least in respect to the reasons why they file. The top reason was differing life goals between partners. For example, a woman nearing her retirement age may realize that she wants to travel, but her already retired husband may only want to stay home and relax all day. The second biggest reason that women file for divorce is infidelity, and the third biggest reason is constant arguing.
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